Upcoming Birthday Puts the Years in Review

What have I accomplished over the last ten years?

This weekend I turn 49. It’s amazing to think that in one year, I’ll be a half-century old. I think back to when I was turning 39, and all the things I had hoped to accomplish over the next decade. Perhaps it would be easier for me to list all the things that I haven’t accomplished in that time.

On my 39^th birthday, I remember thinking, “I’d like to be in the best physical shape of my life by the time I hit forty.” Guess what: that didn’t happen. It didn’t happen by 41, 42, 45 or even 48. In that time, my metabolism slowed down, I became less active and now menopause is crouching around the corner, waiting to pounce.  There’s no way I can reach my fitness goal by the time I reach 49, but 50 is a nice round number. I may not be in the best shape of my life by then, but I can aim for a more realistic goal: be as healthy as I possibly can be.

I didn’t write a bestselling novel or an award-winning screenplay. During the last decade, Stephenie Myers, Suzanne Collins and J.K. Rowling have been busy reaping the benefits of their hugely successful book series, while I…have not.  As with exercising, it takes discipline to make the commitment to write every day. However, over the last few years, I’ve made the commitment to write something every week and I’ve managed to do that without fail and without repeating myself. In that time I’ve tried to entertain readers with my stories and opinions on everything from Christmas letters and Christmas sweaters to the Kardashians, motherhood, pop culture, religion and a number of other topics that affect our community. That’s got to count for something, right?

I haven’t taken my children to Disney World, something I always thought my husband and I would do “someday”, when the kids were a little older and we had money to spare. Somehow that day never came. My children are 11 and 14 and they still don’t care much for amusement park rides, so I think we were better off taking them to places like Niagara Falls and Washington DC. Besides, my husband and I are the only two Americans who have never set foot in Florida.  Why ruin our perfect record?

Over the last ten years, I haven’t managed to convert my agnostic husband to Christianity. I know, that’s kind of a lofty goal. My mother was a Christian who married an agnostic and I did the exact same thing. But my husband has been nothing but supportive in my decision to build a solid faith foundation for my children by joining a church. I’ve noticed recently that my husband has offered up my prayers to his friends in need. I tell my children that “…God has a plan for Dad”, and I honestly believe that’s true.

Ten years ago I was a mother of a four-year-old and a one-year old. I questioned my mothering skills daily and wondered if my children would turn out all right or if my own inadequacies would screw them up for life. Ok, that hasn’t changed.

At 39 I was new to town, had only a few friends and often felt isolated from my community. Today I am blessed with a group of wonderful, supportive friends and I feel as much a part of this town as the library, the middle school or the playground. 

So, I’m not a marathon-running, organic-eating, bestselling author. So what? They say 50 is the new 40 (at least, that’s what 50-year olds are saying). That means I’ve still got time. But unlike 10 years ago, I’m less inclined to waste as much of it.