Let's All Try to Keep The Wave Current

I really miss watching people do “the wave”.

You probably think I’m referring to the phenomenon that occurs during sporting events and rock concerts, where people take turns rising out of their seats, waving their arms over their head.  When done properly, it looks as if a wave of motion is sweeping across the thousands of fans, circling round and round the arena.  Yes, it’s impressive, but I could live just as easily without ever seeing that particular sight again.

The wave that I refer to is that little “thank you” wave that people do when you’re driving in your car and you yield the right of way to another driver.  What happened to it?  Did it fall out of fashion?  Have we become too used to driving with one hand on the wheel and the other on our cell phone, GPS or car stereo to remember that the free hand can also be used to extend the smallest of courteous gestures?

Remember courtesy?  It’s the verbal “thank you” that you give when someone opens the door for you or lets you go ahead in the grocery line because you only have one container of Parmesan cheese and everyone at home is waiting for you, as their spaghetti dinner gets cold.  Courtesy is letting someone older than you take the last seat on the bus or the subway, no matter how tired you might be.  It’s realizing that some poor sap has been stuck at a traffic intersection for eons and is just waiting for you to take pity and let them sneak in ahead you.  And when the latter occurs, it’s having the gratitude and decency to lift your hand in acknowledgement to the person who just bestowed this small act of kindness.  Nothing burns me more than waving someone in and having them completely ignore the gesture because they’re too busy yacking away on the cell phone that’s glued to their head. 

It doesn’t have to be a huge wave.  I’ll even take what my friends call a “cape wave”, where you hold your hand straight out at a slight angle behind you while looking in the opposite direction.  A wave that says, “I’ll acknowledge you did something for me but it’s no more than I deserve, really.”  I’ll take a small waggle of the fingers, or a two fingered salute (just not the single finger variety, thank you).  For crying out loud, I’ll even take a nod of the head if that’s all you’ve got.  Just give me some indication that you appreciate the tiny bit of kindness you’ve just received.

Personally, I prefer dispensing the two-part wave.  When someone yields their right of way to me in a difficult intersection, I’ll do a brief wave to let them know I’ve received their go-ahead, and then a follow up wave with a smile after I make the turn.  If our cars are close enough, I might even add a silent mouthing of the words “thank you”.  Maybe I’m being overly appreciative by going with the double wave system, but is there such a thing as being too courteous?  I don’t think so.

I may be taking this too personally.  It’s a busy world we drive in, made more complicated by the phones and Tom-Toms and video players we have at our fingertips.  But if we completely dismiss the thank-you wave, what next?  Courtesy goes out the window, society breaks down, anarchy reigns in the streets and civilization as we know it grinds to a halt.  I have it on good authority that the decline of the Roman Empire actually began when chariot drivers stopped waving to each other.

So let’s take a lesson from the Romans, shall we?  Let’s keep the wave going.  It may seem like a small courtesy, but the “thank you” wave is the only thing that sets us apart from the animals. 

That, and opposable thumbs.