Coaches Need to Know What Lessons They're Teaching

There are good coaches and there are bad coaches.

A good coach embraces the unique abilities of each team member and encourages teammates to do the same.  A bad coach singles out players who don’t measure up to his personal expectations and humiliates them for their shortcomings.

A good coach volunteers because she wants to share her love of the sport.  She wants to teach team members how to increase their abilities to the fullest potential, while learning how to work with others.  A bad coach volunteers for selfish reasons: perhaps she never reached the level of achievement she expected and is living vicariously through her team.

A good coach enjoys a win but teaches his team how to lose gracefully.  A bad coach wants to win at all costs, and heaven help team members if they don’t give him what he wants.

The good coach and the bad coach have one key thing in common: the ability to impact a child for the rest of his or her life.

I didn’t play sports as a child, but I do vividly remember my elementary school gym teacher, Mr. Embley.  He looked like Superman and was built like Jack Lalanne.  During a fitness test, I failed to do the recommended number of sit-ups.  Now Mr. Embley could have reacted in two ways.  He could have said, “C’mon Laura, I know you have a few more in you.  You can do it!”  Instead, he looked at me with disgust and said, “My grandmother could do more than that.”  Forty years later, I can still recall the shame I felt at that moment.  Does anyone recall a similar experience with their coach?

As a parent, I feel fortunate that my children have had some amazing coaches for soccer and baseball.  Neither child is an “A” player at either sport, but over the years their coaches have treated them with respect and worked hard to instill confidence in them and to nurture their abilities.  I know several friends who have not had the same luck with their children’s coaches.  One quit a sport altogether because of a bad coach. 

In October, I wrote a column about coaching and mentioned Joe Ehrmann, subject of the New York Times Bestseller, “Season of Life”.  Joe is a former All-Pro defensive linesman for the Baltimore Colts, and the author of “InsideOut Coaching”, a book that teaches coaches how to bring out the best in their players while looking inward to understand just why they themselves want to coach.   I had the pleasure of hearing Joe speak back in October.  On Sunday, Marcy 25, Joe Ehrmann returns to the South Shore, speaking at Norwell High School from 6–7:30 p.m.  This event is open to parents, athletes, educators, athletic directors and, most of all, coaches.

As a member of the committee organizing this event, I’m proud to invite you to come hear Joe’s important message about how sports can transform our children’s lives.  As a mother, I’m eager to learn what else I can do to help my children grow into confident, productive young men.  As a robotics coach, I’m hoping to gain some insight into why I volunteer and improve my skills for the betterment of my team.

Whether you are an athlete, parent, coach or all three, I hope to see you at the Norwell High School gymnasium on March 25 for Joe’s important message. 

Who knows?  It could change your life.  Or your child’s.